think of a name

I'm confused.
I want to pick one good name for my boutique, but then I've found it very dense.
Too many choices.
At first I chose Beau, but then I changed my mind.
my friends said that Beau is not a good name! it's not ear catchy!
then, he suggested "FASHION AVENUE".
And I just simply like it. and I'll use that name.

wish me a huge luck.

First Client

I'm happy. You know why? Coz yesterday I got my first client. She ordered a batik dress for herself and a suit for her boyfriend. I hope it's a good beginning.

So, I went to Mayestik, where I could find a lot of fabs fabrics.
I heart Mayestik. I love it so much.
Anyway, she's my first client. I want to make the dress looks really good, so she'll be satisfied and she'll make another one.

They're looking good.

Fuddyduddy daddy

I'm tired.
He had pushed me too far!
My dad controls my life, and I hated it.
He hates me for what I've done in the past! I know I was the wrong one, but I had enough of everything, every single words he said made me feel so bad.
I cried so many times already.
and only needed a break.

Fine wedding celebration

Yesterday, I woke up early and only slept for a few hours.
Had to go to salon and had a made over from head to toe.
It was my cousin's wedding. I participated as the ushers.
I wore a pink dress they'd given to me. It's pretty cheesy, but it's nice.

The wedding was perfect. Oh, I love WEDDINGS.

saying goodbye to seattle is not easy

my first apartment

my first room

me-downtown seattle, winter.

me-in the bus

Imel's birthday

me-with my lovely friends

dear readers, i've nothing to do so I wanna tell u about my life in seattle back then. also, telling u the reasons I left Seattle.  First of all, Ive never had a plan to go to Seattle! I've always wanted to go to new york instead, for a college! I've been waiting for a letter from the ny's college, for almost 1 year and a half but got nothing in reply. I've sent all the document through my agent and the college people said they didn't get any of my files. I was so pissed!! I spent a lot of money to pay the agent, but I didn't get anything in the end. so, they told me to change direction and go to seattle instead. so i considered it before i finally chose to go to seattle. one of my bestfriend is there and im hoping it will be a fun journey for me. but seattle wasnt really my place you know. i dont like the weather, its cold and raining all the times so gloomy. but i loved it when it snows. ;)  and one problems led to another, i decided to back for good to indo. on 29th August 2008 (my birthdayyy, spent it on the airplane) I went home.
Here are some of the strong reasons why I left seattle:

1. The weather sucks
2. I felt lonely almost all the time
3. I'm way too concerned about my parents
4. Jakarta is better for the entertainment. lots of friends and so many places to go
5. clueless about what i wanna be in the future. so instead of wasting my parent's money, it's better im back here and think once more about my future planning
6. 3,5 years uni life in seattle wont be a nice idea for me
7. had a boring activity, all the same routines

its all about it. but i didnt say its easy to say goodbye to seattle. there are so many memories that i wud never ever forget. i met some new friends and i enjoyed the moment ive spent with them. so, saying goodbye to seattle is not easy

Poems i made

Kejujuran dan Kehormatanku
Aku bersama dengan keberanianku
Sisa dari jiwaku, bertanya.. menghela..
dimana arti kejujuran bagi para manusia berkuda?
Sejujurnya, ketika aku berkata, hatiku terluka..
Dimanakah matamu melihat?
Aku sungguh kecewa dengan segala perkara..
Namun siapa tak berani bertahan dan mencoba, dia kalah..
Aku mulai tak mengerti, mulai aku tersesat tak terarah
Teriaklah! beritahu bahwa aku telah salah
Jangan kau buat seakan manusia tak bernyawa
Duduk aku tak bersuara, bahkan suara mobil di luar sana,
menepi.. dan mati melihat mimik dan luka dari sebuah wajah manu.. sia.
Harga diriku petakalah! menyingkir! pergi dan tenggelam
Kembalilah untuk bangkit dari sekedar diam
Biarkan dan jangan angin udara meneteskan air mata mereka
Aku mohon, lahap semuanya!
Biar aku melihat kehormatanku, juga kejujuranmu, bersatu...
-10/12/2005-

Cemburuku, bukan cemburu laki-laki
Perempuan memang berbeda, banyak celah dan ruas
Bebeberapa hanya bisa malu, tapi beberapa bukan malu, bukan tak tahu malu...
Sedang aku, bukan keduanya.
Aku seorang yang berbeda
Khayal beberapa orang terhadapku seperti satu
Cemburuku.. Cemburunya.. adalah hal yang berbeda
Adillah sang Pencipta, karena siapa terus mengayun,
Dia akan selalu terayun.
Siapa yang bersandar, akan selalu tersandar..
Perasaanku akan kuubah, seiring aku mengayun
Aku berusaha untuk selalu mengayun
Memang aku tak tahu dia sesungguhnya,
Aku bukan teman, apalagi sahabatnya
bukan juga layak halnya seorang musuh
Pelajaran tentang dunia, banyak tercermin padaku
Aku belajar, dan akan belajar
Untuk menjadi seorang satu yang terbaik, dan menjadi lebih baik...
-10/12/2005-

Rasa Sedihku
Air mataku telah mengalir
BErdebu tak berair
Aku takut akan sebuah masa depan
Pilihan yang kutentang dengan pikiran yang kuinginkan
Sebenarnya aku ingin pergi
menggali ilmu juga cina..
mencari keaslian dunia tanpa berani berfikir apa yang mungkin ada disini
hatiku dalam terluka
kepada siapa aku mungkin dan seharusnya bertata kata
dia si utama sedang tidak ada
teman aku bingung harus bagaimana bersuara
sejujurnya aku hanya butuh dia
apa daya biaya dan jarak pemenggal semata
uang kini, uang nanti
dapatkah untuk menggali, dan mencari?
aku rasa, aku hanya bisa duduk dan tertawa
untuk hal yang telah menimpa
tapi aku bisa mengubah, mungkin dengan berusaha dan percaya...
-14/12/2005-

Ketakutanku
Tubuhku mengilu, sakit
tapi aku dapat bertahan
apakah ini?
sesuatu telah terjadi, bagai aku tak mengenali aku
akankah aku tiada, seperti layaknya manusia terkapar parah
aku menahan air mata yang hampir tumpah dari mata
namun aku tak bisa
karena ketakutanku bukan hal biasa semata
besar dan banyak! menyakitkan
materi, cinta, dan khayalan memutar segalanya
aku letih, takut, dan seolah terpincang
akankah hal ini menjadi akhir duniaku
ataukah awal dari pencobaanku
semuanya Tuhan yang memberi makna
Aku gadis kecil yang hanya bisa menangis
Hingga suatu waktu dan suatu kabar datang mengubah...
-14/12/2005-

Keinginanku Bertemu dirimu
Bunga gambar kuning dihadapanku tidaklah cerah
Aku memikirkan kita, kamu...
baru kau pergi, aku sudah ingin melihat kau kembali
apakah ini rasanya terpisahkan oleh jarak
Segala masalah sulit aku tumpahkan
aku butuh dirimu disini
untuk kupeluk, kucium, dan tempatku menangis
Semua.. aku butuh dirimi
aku sadar tak bisa, karena perbedaan waktu dan tempat
semuanya bercampur menjadi satu
aku sangat ingin dirimu ada di sebelahku
tertawa bersama, sedih bersama dan bersenang berdua
aku akan menunggumu
walaupun aku sedikit kecewa, karena aku terlalu ingin membagi waktu dengan dirimu
walau aku tahu, kita berbeda, entah tempat dan entah waktu...
-14/12/2005-

Masa Laluku
Aku benci ketika mataku ada didepanku
Aku mengeluh dan lalu menapak
sosok lelaki tampan berdiri memberi senyum pilu
lalu air mata beningku mengalir tak menentu
adakah dia akan kembali?
hatiku terpancing emosi membara
kenangan yang dulu tak pernah hampas
waktu kosongku habis dengan namanya
sudah 2 tahun lamanya
kenangna itu terus menjadi bayanganku
kembalilah! teriakku kencang menembus suara angin yang berlalu
datanglah dan taklukan aku
matamu kuharap menatapku
aku benar benar ingin bertemu dirimu
dengan segala status pada dirimu
aku tak perduli
ku seperti ingin khianati
asal kau kembali berkata dan mengunyah menghaluskan aku
aku butuh dirimu untuk bangkitkan aku
penat aku jauh, lelah pikiranku
enyah lah dirimu! aku telah memiliki ksatria
dan bukan dirimu berhak akan aku..
-12/12/2006-

Hati kecilku berkata
Senyum di bibirku melebar
mataku kosong terpana dan rambutku terurai indah
kuperhatikan diriku dalam cermin kamarku
duduk dengan manis dan tersipu
sekilas, aku melihat kembali apa yang kurasakan dulu
masa kecilku yang penuh dengan kenangan manis
dia selalu terlintas walau dia bagian dari masa laluku
bodohnya aku, cinta monyet memang selalu terpatah
aku rindu masa kecilku
menari tanpa malu, bertindak tanpa tahu
kini terkadang aku masih memikirkannya
tapi diriku tak berani bersuara
aku memiliki penat hidupku
begitu juga dia
yang selalu aku tahu, dia seorang penyayang
bak kakakku seorang
ia seperti tempat perlindunganku yang lain
karna aku percaya kepadanya
seperti aku mempercayai kekasihku kini...
-12/12/2006-

my bestfriend's 20th birthday surprise

Cupcakes, candles, rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, cute dolls on top of the cupcake, etc..
yeah, there's a party goin on in here. I threw a surprise for my bestfriend last night for her 20th birtdhay.
Me and my other friends crawled slowly into her house and her mom helped us by giving signals. we're throwing her a surprise every year.she was pretending to be shocked lol. but i know she knows. anyway i gave her a lovely key-chain from FAO SCHWARZ, new york.


She likes all the cupcakes decoration, especially the one with pumpkin. here's some of the cupcake pics:

complex trouble with a friend

im in a very complex situation right now. my best friend from junior high school called and told me everything i dont wanna hear. you'll get confused with this particular problem of mine. so, she told me that his boyfriend likes me, she was crying so hard when telling me all this. I was literally in shock (and almost got a stroke) I really dont know what to do and what to say. and its not a fucking joke, it's real. i was speechless and it was the worst problem i've ever encountered. ever! i wish i could act normally and instead trying to calm her down, but i simply couldnt. not after se told me everything.


i really wanna kill him for doing this to her. one thing i cud tell you he's making a big mistake and he's going to regret it! i dont really know whether the information is accurate or not, but my best friend told me it is. she got the news directly form his cousin (oh well how accurate is that huh?!) i was so confused because how does it really happened? things will become so awkward between us and i just dont wanna imagine the afterwards effect of this problems, yet. she told me she still wanna see him and misses him and everything. she's so fragile and i dont want her to get hurt yet for another zillions time. She kept looking for answers although she knows the truth already.
I was kinda upset when I knew that she talked to her bf about everything again, involving me into their conversation. Their conversation brings me pain you kno. its not easy for me too, looking ur best friend cried because of you?! hell its not a good feeling i tell ya ladies!
well but I forgave her for her selfishness, and I'm finally fine with it. She said she just wanna make things more clear than before, that's all. but what I really couldn't accept is what he says about me, he said that now he sees me as a bad person, he said I like to get drunk, I had a bad past, and so on and so on. he was also angry with us because he saw us smoked cigarettes once. its not fair for him to judge me like that after what he did to her. please be a man. 
I mean he has no idea what i've been through so he better shut his mouth off! i almost forget to tell u readers, he's one of my bestfriend too. yeah that guy. now i'm so pissed i dont even wanna see him or talk to him ever again. He doesn't know the truth, but he talk talk talk just like a girl. I'm very disappointed with him. I thought he's my best friend too and he wouldn't say something like that! But he's a complete jackass! No matter what happen in the future, it will never be the same anymore.
And as for my friend, she promised me she won't talk about him anymore. I told her that my life will still be the same with or without him. So, I told her that she doesn't need to be worry about it. i told her we won't lose our friendship just because of this. I don't wanna lose her because I trust her and she trusted me as well. So, nothing else matters.