Nothing really matters

Your mind, your thoughts, your feelings are an illusion. This life is an illusion.. 

Nothing in this world really matter. You wanna have this and that, and right after you get it, you want something else co you're not happy. We know we're just feeding our ego but we still cant seem to stop the habit. 

Our being, which is always still and silence, knows this. It doesnt feel sad or happy, it doesn't get hurt! Why couldnt we just trust the truth and let go and not be scared of anything anymore.

Fear is also our delusion, it doesnt exost but we don't believe it.

Everyday of my life i am trying to remind myself about beingness, no self. I should say that it's really not easy sumtimes bcoz my mind, my thoughts and my ego are tricking me nonstop. I hated it and i know i shouldnt. 

The answer is in me. The consciousness that's given by God's grace. Let the being be.

Take me to where You are

I can only wish that i could die before i die.. You know, let go of the hurt, accept all the pain. 

I wish i could really meet you in person God. I wish i could ask you did we get to choose our family or you chose them for each one of us for a reason? 

I really wish you could meet me in a dream and really tell me that everything is going to be ok. That im not gonna be like this forever. My faith is so small and im not a good person, but i really wish to experience Grace and true joy and happiness.

You must hv known what i really want in life God. 

The eternal stillness and silence.

My Best

At last.

I haven't been writing for almost 2 years. For the last one and a half year, there are so many things has happened. I've been in a relationship with the same guy I dated back in the early 2013. It's been an amazing journey with him, there's been ups and downs of course, but overall I'm really happy that I got the chance to meet him and get to know this person. I have to admit though, it wasn't really easy at first, we fight a lot and it's really seemed to be taking our positive energy out of the frame. But above all that, I find peace and real comforts in him, I know that he completes me and filled in the blank in me. I am not perfect myself, I made lots of mistakes, and I am trying to be a better person each day not only for people around me but for myself. 

I know I've been such a really hard person to handle, to even deal with, but through getting and finding the Truth, I will not be the same person anymore.

Through this guy, I've learnt a lot, not only because he introduces me to such things called spirituality, but through our relationship, we've been discovering truth together and it's really amazing how when two people meet and talk the same language. =)